Lately I have been enjoying many of the teachings by Ben Ralston.
I love Eastern thought.
One question asked by a commenter was "Is it selfish for me to focus on my spirituality when there is so much wrong in the world?"
A very difficult question. Ralston basically answered the question quite simply:
There is a lot of bad on this earth. And people should take time to observe and heal the wounds from ancestral trauma. The past affects our future both negatively and positively, and all such aspects are imprinted on our offspring. This is why people have similar character flaws to their folks and family members. Some of the bad can be passed down. We are predisposed to certain ways of thinking about the world. Certain ways of dealing with the difficulties in life. We also learn through observation. And bad things are passed down for multiple generations. (As well as good things, luckily).
Supposing no one took the time to try and better themselves. Live up to their full potential. Follow their calling. Find the true reason for their existence.
Humanity would only move backwards.
We want to move forward.
Self actualization helps us to deal with ourselves and live among clashing tides in civilazation.
Ralston concluded that a person who feels that working on their negative feats as a selfish act may have low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. Love for oneself is important. Everyone is worthy of love. Loving ourselves aids us in loving others.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Priorities
Priorities
Upon beginning college my goals were the following:
1) to have a salary of $200,000 by the time I was 30
2) to live in a big house with beach property
3) to have a house in some foreign country out in a rural region
4) to accumulate things that would make me happy
When I was in high school my goals were to get into college.
When I was in junior high I wanted to:
1) be in a band (which happened during high school)
2) record my own music
3) have notebooks filled with poetry and lyrics
4) have the ability to make artwork
5) preach sermons
6) live in a commune
7) learn a foreign language
8) pass my classes and get good grades
9) not be the lowest in my class
All of my earliest life goals I am realizing I have reached. As for my later goals, I now hope to never reach them.
Sometimes we have to reevaluate why we consider certain things as important.
I am not saying that people should not shoot for the stars. I am a strong believer that anyone can do anything. But money does not equal happiness.
Money tends to drive our lives. It feeds, clothes, and shelters us. So of course we would believe that having loads of it would make us comfortable. But we might never be comfortable if $$ is the only focus. Comfort comes from within. We need food and shelter to survive, and money helps us to obtain these things, but aren't there people who do not use money? Yet, they still get food and they still have shelters. They are resourceful. They can live off the land. They are connected to nature. And they sure seem happy if you ask me.
I am a strong believer in hard work.
But I hate money.
For some it is a crutch. For some it is an addiction. For some it is worthless. To some it is everything. And to others it is a source of division.
I acknowledge that money can do a lot of good. It feeds and clothes those in need. Gold can bring joy to a peasant. Happiness is a good thing.
But how many people, while on their deathbed, say: "MAN, I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD MORE MONEY..."
Upon beginning college my goals were the following:
1) to have a salary of $200,000 by the time I was 30
2) to live in a big house with beach property
3) to have a house in some foreign country out in a rural region
4) to accumulate things that would make me happy
When I was in high school my goals were to get into college.
When I was in junior high I wanted to:
1) be in a band (which happened during high school)
2) record my own music
3) have notebooks filled with poetry and lyrics
4) have the ability to make artwork
5) preach sermons
6) live in a commune
7) learn a foreign language
8) pass my classes and get good grades
9) not be the lowest in my class
All of my earliest life goals I am realizing I have reached. As for my later goals, I now hope to never reach them.
Sometimes we have to reevaluate why we consider certain things as important.
I am not saying that people should not shoot for the stars. I am a strong believer that anyone can do anything. But money does not equal happiness.
Money tends to drive our lives. It feeds, clothes, and shelters us. So of course we would believe that having loads of it would make us comfortable. But we might never be comfortable if $$ is the only focus. Comfort comes from within. We need food and shelter to survive, and money helps us to obtain these things, but aren't there people who do not use money? Yet, they still get food and they still have shelters. They are resourceful. They can live off the land. They are connected to nature. And they sure seem happy if you ask me.
I am a strong believer in hard work.
But I hate money.
For some it is a crutch. For some it is an addiction. For some it is worthless. To some it is everything. And to others it is a source of division.
I acknowledge that money can do a lot of good. It feeds and clothes those in need. Gold can bring joy to a peasant. Happiness is a good thing.
But how many people, while on their deathbed, say: "MAN, I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD MORE MONEY..."
HOW TO GET BY? In case you cannot think of ways to organize your life. (great for students)
Studying.
JUST DO IT! The more you do it the easier it gets.
Do you or did you ever have summer vacations? Remember? Those 3 or so months of warm beach time? Maybe when you were younger your guardians allowed you to relax your brain for a quarter of a year. I know, I know, some of your folks would not let you just veg out. Some of you had to continue working and studying and hustling. But some of you, some of us, were allowed a certain amount of break time. And remember how hard that first day of class was? IT WAS SO HARD!
What was the hard part? It was difficult focusing on those lectures. Hard to concentrate enough to take good notes. Hard to even stay awake while sitting still. And it was difficult to absorb and learn the new material or even the forgotten material. It was hard to want to be there. But if you pushed and worked at it, within a month or so you got back into the good habits. You were able to study and absorb materials. You did not sleep through lectures and expose your drowsy self to dry erasers being chucked at your head (by irritated professors). You took excellent notes that your classmates called you about copying. YOU DID IT!
For myself, I learned to look at studying in that very way. Yes, it is simple to get distracted. BUT know that the more you study and the better you get, the easier it is to study and the more you will want to study.
THERE ARE 2 MAIN WAYS OF GETTING YOUR WORK DONE THAT HAVE BOTH WORKED FOR ME:
1) some people need to be on a strict schedule
2) some people need some room to breathe.
No matter how you study always be disciplined. And always reward yourself. Always keep yourself accountable. And generally have someone on the outside to be accountable to. I myself thrive on accountability. It pushes and motivates me. Tell a friend that you are going to learn all your flashcards by the end of the week. Make it like a competition with yourself. If you do it, you win, and if you don't do it, you fail. Winners get a treat, while losers get zilch. Provide yourself with something you like at the end of the week. Maybe you will get your favorite meal, or if you are broke, go to the library and check out a couple of movies for free for your treat. If you fail, well, you will be playing catch up which is a punishment in itself AND you will not treat yourself. Tell yourself you will do better next time and do it. ALWAYS DO BETTER!
Remember: never get behind!!! It makes your plans harder. For example, if you have a paper due in 7 days and the paper has to be 5 pages, that is less than a page a day!!! And if you are flowing, you may even knock it out a week early. You will be way less stressed, and if you have a nice professor they will be super willing to look it over for you to ensure you the best possible grade once you make the necessary corrections.
The first method is easier to address.
Taking many breaks can be tricky. Sometimes you feel like you want to learn while other times you just want to SLACK! Breaking on the weekend can be nice because you may have other available friends that are free. Breaking mid week is tricky. Having a lax schedule is tricky but it is not so impossible. If breaks motivate you then take breaks. We should all take breaks. But just remember that once you stand up to stretch or take a walk or go on FaceBook, YOU MUST RETURN AND GET YOU WORK DONE.
If breaks are too distracting then try to take them in a controlled environment such as in a library. If you study in a closed study booth, then you can take your breaks in the main library where is less of a distraction available.
During my early college days I would study in the college library cubicles. And I would keep my laptop in the trunk of the car just in case I would need it. I carried texts, but for fun break times I carried a Bible and some Biblical Hebrew textbooks. (If you have not yet realized that I am a total geek, well NOW YOU KNOW)! I would study my assignments for classes. But when I wanted to slack off the only available materials I had were Hebrew books!!!!!!! So in the process of inaccurately preparing for some class sessions at least I learned some Hebrew!
Do you or did you ever have summer vacations? Remember? Those 3 or so months of warm beach time? Maybe when you were younger your guardians allowed you to relax your brain for a quarter of a year. I know, I know, some of your folks would not let you just veg out. Some of you had to continue working and studying and hustling. But some of you, some of us, were allowed a certain amount of break time. And remember how hard that first day of class was? IT WAS SO HARD!
What was the hard part? It was difficult focusing on those lectures. Hard to concentrate enough to take good notes. Hard to even stay awake while sitting still. And it was difficult to absorb and learn the new material or even the forgotten material. It was hard to want to be there. But if you pushed and worked at it, within a month or so you got back into the good habits. You were able to study and absorb materials. You did not sleep through lectures and expose your drowsy self to dry erasers being chucked at your head (by irritated professors). You took excellent notes that your classmates called you about copying. YOU DID IT!
For myself, I learned to look at studying in that very way. Yes, it is simple to get distracted. BUT know that the more you study and the better you get, the easier it is to study and the more you will want to study.
THERE ARE 2 MAIN WAYS OF GETTING YOUR WORK DONE THAT HAVE BOTH WORKED FOR ME:
1) some people need to be on a strict schedule
2) some people need some room to breathe.
No matter how you study always be disciplined. And always reward yourself. Always keep yourself accountable. And generally have someone on the outside to be accountable to. I myself thrive on accountability. It pushes and motivates me. Tell a friend that you are going to learn all your flashcards by the end of the week. Make it like a competition with yourself. If you do it, you win, and if you don't do it, you fail. Winners get a treat, while losers get zilch. Provide yourself with something you like at the end of the week. Maybe you will get your favorite meal, or if you are broke, go to the library and check out a couple of movies for free for your treat. If you fail, well, you will be playing catch up which is a punishment in itself AND you will not treat yourself. Tell yourself you will do better next time and do it. ALWAYS DO BETTER!
Remember: never get behind!!! It makes your plans harder. For example, if you have a paper due in 7 days and the paper has to be 5 pages, that is less than a page a day!!! And if you are flowing, you may even knock it out a week early. You will be way less stressed, and if you have a nice professor they will be super willing to look it over for you to ensure you the best possible grade once you make the necessary corrections.
The first method is easier to address.
Taking many breaks can be tricky. Sometimes you feel like you want to learn while other times you just want to SLACK! Breaking on the weekend can be nice because you may have other available friends that are free. Breaking mid week is tricky. Having a lax schedule is tricky but it is not so impossible. If breaks motivate you then take breaks. We should all take breaks. But just remember that once you stand up to stretch or take a walk or go on FaceBook, YOU MUST RETURN AND GET YOU WORK DONE.
If breaks are too distracting then try to take them in a controlled environment such as in a library. If you study in a closed study booth, then you can take your breaks in the main library where is less of a distraction available.
During my early college days I would study in the college library cubicles. And I would keep my laptop in the trunk of the car just in case I would need it. I carried texts, but for fun break times I carried a Bible and some Biblical Hebrew textbooks. (If you have not yet realized that I am a total geek, well NOW YOU KNOW)! I would study my assignments for classes. But when I wanted to slack off the only available materials I had were Hebrew books!!!!!!! So in the process of inaccurately preparing for some class sessions at least I learned some Hebrew!
Friday, July 6, 2012
WHY ME? In case you feel worthless
Being Calm Within A Storm
As a resident of Los Angeles, storms are not something that I am totally familiar with.
EARTHQUAKES, maybe, but not storms. Not literal weather storms.
You see, when you have been in thunder that is deafening, and lightning that is striking quite low, and winds that are blowing your lawn chairs across the yard, and rains that are pouring down so hard that you cannot even see straight in front of you, AND THIS IS YOUR SUMMER WEATHER... when you are used to such situations, a little sprinkle here and there will not frighten you one bit.
How is this true?
Well, when you know that you will be living in a stormy region, you prepare. You prepare because you know that the storms will come often, hard, and heavy, and there won't be a thing you can do about it. You try to take control of the situation before it occurs. You realize that being ill-prepared will put you at risk and you don't want to be vulnerable (without shelter or warmth) when a huge storm hits.
When you live in a place like Los Angeles, when even sprinkling rains meander through the skies people literally skid on the roads and the roads literally come apart in chunks that we lovingly refer to as potholes.
It is only when a small drizzle comes to town that us Angelinos realize that we need new wipers, new tires, brighter lights... we dig through junky closets to find jackets, hoodies, umbrellas, and shoes (instead of flip flops). WE ARE NOT EVEN PREPARED FOR THE SLIGHTEST CHANGE IN THE WEATHER, AND SO EVEN A LAUGHABLE CHANGE SEEMS LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD!
Now let us apply this to real life. Preparation is key. When I look back and I think about how I have reacted during stressful times, it can be quite scary. Remember Y2K??? THAT'S ME! Scrambling about trying to hold on to and accumulate anything from anywhere that might get me through just one more hour. How healthy is this? I can tell you, it is not healthy one bit.
During calm times it is key to realize that stress will eventually head our way. A storm is coming, we may not be able to predict the extremity or exact onset, but it is inevitable. It will arrive. And being ready can save us from some bad decisions.
Some people like to over eat, zone out, escape through substance abuse, lash out at others, consume, or all of the above. Basically, everyone seeks to gain pleasure and avoid pain. Storms create pain, especially when we are exposed and the weather was so unexpected. Especially when it LOOKED so sunny out early one June morning and then one day in August we find ourselves looking back and asking "When was the last time we saw the sun?!"
Although pain is a part of human existence, we must search during trials. We must reevaluate. And yes, we must change. Not change to avoid responsibilities altogether, but allow the situation to change us. For the better. Some people focus inward and others focus outward, but I would say that we must focus both on ourselves as well as on others. We must not ignore the pain, but we also should not let it consume our being. IT SUCKS! But sometimes we must ask ourselves "Why is this happening and what can I learn from this?"
Being treated poorly may teach us how to treat, and how not to treat, others. Being judged may help us to give people second chances, and third and fourth and fifth chances, when everyone one else has quit on that annoying person and decided to just talk about them instead of interact and reach out. Being overworked can help us learn how to take vacations. Being broke can teach us to budget. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that bad situations are FUN or EXCITING.
But think of who you would be if you never experienced some of the things you have gone through.
These situations shape and mold us. So never let them hold you back. Only let them guide you forward. In looking back you will see that you have been able to stand multiple tests. Use your bettered self to make you a beacon to your friends, family, and "enemies."
EARTHQUAKES, maybe, but not storms. Not literal weather storms.
You see, when you have been in thunder that is deafening, and lightning that is striking quite low, and winds that are blowing your lawn chairs across the yard, and rains that are pouring down so hard that you cannot even see straight in front of you, AND THIS IS YOUR SUMMER WEATHER... when you are used to such situations, a little sprinkle here and there will not frighten you one bit.
How is this true?
Well, when you know that you will be living in a stormy region, you prepare. You prepare because you know that the storms will come often, hard, and heavy, and there won't be a thing you can do about it. You try to take control of the situation before it occurs. You realize that being ill-prepared will put you at risk and you don't want to be vulnerable (without shelter or warmth) when a huge storm hits.
When you live in a place like Los Angeles, when even sprinkling rains meander through the skies people literally skid on the roads and the roads literally come apart in chunks that we lovingly refer to as potholes.
It is only when a small drizzle comes to town that us Angelinos realize that we need new wipers, new tires, brighter lights... we dig through junky closets to find jackets, hoodies, umbrellas, and shoes (instead of flip flops). WE ARE NOT EVEN PREPARED FOR THE SLIGHTEST CHANGE IN THE WEATHER, AND SO EVEN A LAUGHABLE CHANGE SEEMS LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD!
Now let us apply this to real life. Preparation is key. When I look back and I think about how I have reacted during stressful times, it can be quite scary. Remember Y2K??? THAT'S ME! Scrambling about trying to hold on to and accumulate anything from anywhere that might get me through just one more hour. How healthy is this? I can tell you, it is not healthy one bit.
During calm times it is key to realize that stress will eventually head our way. A storm is coming, we may not be able to predict the extremity or exact onset, but it is inevitable. It will arrive. And being ready can save us from some bad decisions.
Some people like to over eat, zone out, escape through substance abuse, lash out at others, consume, or all of the above. Basically, everyone seeks to gain pleasure and avoid pain. Storms create pain, especially when we are exposed and the weather was so unexpected. Especially when it LOOKED so sunny out early one June morning and then one day in August we find ourselves looking back and asking "When was the last time we saw the sun?!"
Although pain is a part of human existence, we must search during trials. We must reevaluate. And yes, we must change. Not change to avoid responsibilities altogether, but allow the situation to change us. For the better. Some people focus inward and others focus outward, but I would say that we must focus both on ourselves as well as on others. We must not ignore the pain, but we also should not let it consume our being. IT SUCKS! But sometimes we must ask ourselves "Why is this happening and what can I learn from this?"
Being treated poorly may teach us how to treat, and how not to treat, others. Being judged may help us to give people second chances, and third and fourth and fifth chances, when everyone one else has quit on that annoying person and decided to just talk about them instead of interact and reach out. Being overworked can help us learn how to take vacations. Being broke can teach us to budget. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that bad situations are FUN or EXCITING.
But think of who you would be if you never experienced some of the things you have gone through.
These situations shape and mold us. So never let them hold you back. Only let them guide you forward. In looking back you will see that you have been able to stand multiple tests. Use your bettered self to make you a beacon to your friends, family, and "enemies."
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Happy Day
For some people it is a new year. For others it is just another day. Either way, HAVE A HAPPY DAY!And don't hesitate to strive for new beginnings.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The Fire and the Water (PART I)
One flame touched another flame, and behold!
They became fire.
Moving apart to reach their destinies
They formed a third flame.
The new flame smoked; the two flames returned;
They consoled it.
The new flame was helping the two to consume the land.
They needed each other.
The new flame enlarged while the others died down.
Meanwhile, it aged.
Once the two flames were only smoke
The new flame was then ONE.
The one flame caused fires and then it caused hazards;
After a while it made catastrophes.
It was unquenchable.
There soon became nothing left to burn;
Burning itself, it was not satisfied.
The flame only wished to be put out, but
All that were not elements in the land were terrified.
The flame, NOW A FIRE, was inconsolable.
They became fire.
Moving apart to reach their destinies
They formed a third flame.
The new flame smoked; the two flames returned;
They consoled it.
The new flame was helping the two to consume the land.
They needed each other.
The new flame enlarged while the others died down.
Meanwhile, it aged.
Once the two flames were only smoke
The new flame was then ONE.
The one flame caused fires and then it caused hazards;
After a while it made catastrophes.
It was unquenchable.
There soon became nothing left to burn;
Burning itself, it was not satisfied.
The flame only wished to be put out, but
All that were not elements in the land were terrified.
The flame, NOW A FIRE, was inconsolable.
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